Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
