There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I can text with my tongue
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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