i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
