I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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