the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Even my vagina gasped.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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