I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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