I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
