i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
