Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
