Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
