: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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