Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
