Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
