The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
