I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
