he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
