im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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