that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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