Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
there was a trapeze. enough said
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
