The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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