Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
