Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
