i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Randomize
