i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
