he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
