It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
