I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Someone signed my nipple.
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