shes about as inviting as chlamydia
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
