I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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