You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
