We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
