Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
