i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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