Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
