There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
