Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
