Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
