Life is so much better after having sex.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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