Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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