I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
