Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
