It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
