He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
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