You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
