I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
