oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Randomize
