It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
