I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
