Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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