What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
im holly from the hills drunk
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
